Offered: You will be the object of all desire. The love of any woman, of all women, will be yours. Any woman you choose will love you completely, will desire you with all her being. Any woman you bid into your company will be fully yours, to do everything you want with her. Each one of them will fulfill your every whim and fantasy. You will enjoy their bodies, their company, and their charm. Your magnetism and attractiveness to women will earn you great fame and riches. You will know, more than any man has ever known, what it is to be loved.
In return, I demand only your love. Every ounce of your love you must to surrender to me in perpetuity.
You will never be able to love, nurture, or cherish. You will never love any of the women who give you their full devotion. You will only be able to destroy, demolish, and break. You will hold all women in disdain. Every woman who keeps your company will depart from you wounded and broken. Vengeance, pain and misery will be yours to give in abundance.
Small price to pay, methinks, for all the women of your dreams.
Now, do we have a deal?
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Oh David,
ReplyDeleteThis is priceless. I'm afraid rather too many men have made this deal.
Worth the wait & I get to comment first!
Virginia
Love the last line particularly, great little piece!
ReplyDelete*shudders*
But how enjoyable can that be? Any woman a man desires (I'm assuming ad is for men!) to enjoy in any number of ways, without feeling any affection or love?
ReplyDeleteOh..forgot we're talking about Certain kinds of people :)
Like the ones who would appreciate such a deal.
What's interestingly left out is that the one who wrote the ad does not promise love in return.
In perpetuity. Quite chilling piece, David.
I really, really like this story. Makes me wonder who placed the advert, and no, I'll not be taking the deal!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Sam on this, both in the wondering who placed it, and in not taking the deal. That was an excellent story.
ReplyDeleteAll these sensitive men taking the high road here... pffftt....
ReplyDeleteI'd take the deal.
Bring it ON, baby! I want me some hearts to break! Muahahahahahahahah!
Great little story and the offer sounds like it would be a blast. Mine's already been given, so I'd try and take the offer and cheat the person. Likely I'd end up screwing myself over but I'd try. But like Cathy said Bring it ON!
ReplyDeleteMine is up here http://bit.ly/9UTNot
No deal, no way, no how. Nice story.
ReplyDeleteSir,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your generous offer to telepathically control and rape all the women of earth. Surely you identified me as a heterosexual male and assumed I was a prime candidate.
Unfortunately I'm not nearly as fascinated with romantic love or sex as you estimated. They rank just below a new iPhone and just above a really strong bowel movement on my list of priorities. And I don't care for iPhones.
So I'm afraid I'll have to decline your offer. However if you'd like to have tea so that I can get to know you, I may come to admire you. Likely not more than all the rest of creation, but as a friend, and I do go out of my way for friends.
Best of luck finding platonic and fulfilling friendships.
Cheers,
J.C. Wiswell
Considering I'm not a lesbian I'll need to decline your not so kind offer.
ReplyDeleteWell written though. :)
Too many men have already made this deal, but that said, I did enjoy reading this post. Take care, Gillian
ReplyDeleteThis was a whole new level of creepy. Several levels in fact. I do think having the full devotion of every woman would get tiresome.
ReplyDeleteThe last line was quite chilling. I could almost hear the voice.
Whoa, now that is a powerful ad. Very well-written, chilling because it is what so many have actually done, it strikes a cord somewhere down deep.
ReplyDeleteConsidering I am a lesbian, I'm still declining... Sex without love, not a deal for me - so many seem to have accepted the deal, and at what price emotionally? Big ouch. Excellently written piece, David, and thank you.
ReplyDeleteHmm, I think I dated this guy once...
ReplyDeleteEnjoying the devil deals.
Ouch! Enjoyed the piece though. Like Gracie, I think I've dated some who took up that offer. ;)
ReplyDelete