Sitting beside me, you say you feel alive. You say I am radiant. You ask me the secret to this energy.
It is no secret. You have this phrase already in English, "To take a man's life". But you say it in disgust, as though taking life were a bad thing.
You forget, in your Christian piety, that you kneel before the altar each Sunday and you take the life of your god. "Christ's body, given for you," the preacher says, and you take it. Greedily, you take it.
You forget, in your Christian piety, there is no morality. Only Yin and Yang. Only enemy and friend. Let me tell you this: I have taken the lives of many men. Their bodies given to me by the enemy. We are alike, you and I, we only take the life that is given to us.
This is why I am radiant. This is why you see life in my eyes.
I have taken it.
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Holy cow David. This begs to be read over and over. One of your best I think.
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Masterful. Precise, controlled, the way of the surefooted warrior. And he's right about the hypocrisy of the Western view.
ReplyDeleteExcellent
marc nash
Wow! Just wow!
ReplyDeleteI think this one'll be sticking with me all day.
Yum! This was a delicious piece of work, little a sliver of rich Belgian chocolate. I feel honored to read it.
ReplyDeleteThere is power and control in this piece.
ReplyDeleteTruly excellent.
Beautiful, powerful, and haunting. I think you should submit this everywhere you possibly can. It's a winner. ~ Olivia
ReplyDeleteWow-so controlled--paced beautifully--the words lithe like a samurai's muscles. You ask in your tweet: "Q: Does the morally problematic nature of the protagonist come across?" I would say it does, if given thought and if knowing the nature of the Christian death of Christ. However, it beautifully "cuts both ways," questioning both forwards and backwards--the samurai's beliefs as well as the understanding of the Christian ones--which is one of your piece's strengths. If the atonement is understood in certain ways (even if X's action is voluntarily given), it will repeat the take/violence of the samurai's--actually, it can result in even more justified violence. (I only prolong my comments because I saw you were interested in theology and I study theology. ;)
ReplyDeleteRemember us as the little people who loved your work way back when. You are aptly named. Your work is always the master's class.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if he cooked his victims into wafers.
ReplyDeleteCould I ask him that without him killing me?
Strong. Bold. The warrior's way.
ReplyDeleteAs others have said, a warrior's beliefs. Powerful, no hypocrisy, to the point.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the others about the power and control in this piece. It is so short and is not apologetic about it. The brevity actually adds to the power and impact.
ReplyDeleteI love the way the story leaves just enough to the imagination to fill-in who this is and what they actually do.
Brilliant!
Great piece David - and how true.
ReplyDeleteI loved "Their bodies given to me by the enemy"
The hard, noble warrior and his distaste come through very well here
This was a gem, David! so simple and yet so deep and faceted. There was a feeling of inhabiting an utterly foreign worldview, the kind of thing that would take years to comprehend. Great work!
ReplyDeleteYou managed to shine a light on western hypocrisy so clearly in just a few lines. Sterling job.
ReplyDeleteLeft me thinking and that's always a good thing.
ReplyDeleteI read this a few days ago, and wanted to come back to it and read again. You really do speak the voice of this culture with eloquent authority. Just well, well, done.
ReplyDeleteVery well written. Takes a few reads for it to fully sink in. Great job!
ReplyDeleteYep, submit this one. Superb.
ReplyDeleteWow. I really don't know what else to say. This is so powerful, and the last line is perfection.
ReplyDeleteWhen he says ' I have taken the lives of many men. Their bodies given to me by the enemy,' should that be Enemy, as in Satan? Because if not, surely the 'many men' are his enemy, otherwise he wouldn't need to kill them....
ReplyDeleteVictoria,
ReplyDeleteI agree, in that war is evil and of the devil. Although I don't believe that soldiers belong to the devil.
The Samurai, on the other hand, doesn't believe in evil or the devil, only Yin and Yang, enemy and friend.
What the Samurai is saying (or more accurately, what I am trying to get him to say) is that in his eyes the men he kills are not his enemies. The country/city that sent the men to fight the Samurai's country/city is his enemy. Thus they are sent/given by the enemy.
Does that make sense? Any ideas for how I could better have conveyed that in the story?
No ideas from me on how you could have said this any clearer. It's spare and it shines. This is my favourite of your pieces David. Great job.
ReplyDeleteSimon.
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ReplyDeletejust to clarify, i do like it :)
ReplyDeleteAfter writing and rewriting about 10 different responses to this beautiful piece of yours - I'm giving up to brevity.
ReplyDeleteWow, it is exceptional.