Benji slipped silently out of the bed.
She couldn't fault his attempt at stealth. He hadn't lifted the duvet and let in the draught of cold night air that used to make her shiver. He'd trodden carefully as he moved to the door, avoiding the creaking floorboard.
She listened for his next movements. He was making his way down the stairs, slowly, gripping the banister to support his weight and lighten his step.
"Just sleep," she told herself. "Sleep." She stole back her share of the duvet, flipped her pillow to the cool side, and focused on the white stars she saw when she closed her eyes, as the doctor had taught her.
It wasn't enough.
Her body tensed as she heard the water pipes rumble, a soft hiss, barely piercing the silence. Had she imagined it? She chewed on her lip as she listened to the darkness.
The kitchen door clicked shut. He was coming back up. She pretended to be sleeping.
He slid back into bed, shaping his body to match hers, cautiously wrapping an arm around her stomach. His hand was cold, but she refused to flinch. He mustn't know he'd woken her.
Within moments she felt his warm, slow, sleeping breath on the nape of her neck. The tap downstairs dripped. Hadn't it?
She shut her eyes again, watched the white stars, matched her breathing to Benji's.
Drip.
She waited, minutes, to be sure she wouldn't wake him. She slipped silently out of bed, down to the kitchen.
No light needed. She watched the tap. No drip. But, yes, he'd left his mess. He'd left his water glass by the sink. Left it for the morning. He always did that.
She bit her lip again. "Freak," she told herself.
As she filled the washing up bowl with hot bubbles, then placed her hands in the water to clean the glass, the tension in her body began to calm. Once she'd washed, dried, and put away the glass, emptied the bowl, and wiped the sink, she'd be able to sleep.
Back upstairs, Benji was still sleeping. She held him, trying to take the relaxed energy of his sleep into her own body. Her eyes closed themselves. She saw the stars. The stars made shapes. She was dreaming. Wasn't she? She opened her eyes to check.
The tap downstairs dripped.
Hadn't it?
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Oh yes, tense and intensely OCD! I like this David. Also great that you leave it unresolved - because that's how this is, never ending. Well done.
ReplyDeleteSuch a very good depiction of someone captured by a never ending cycle of anxiety and intrusive thoughts.
ReplyDeleteLovely little details. Such as flipping the pillow to the cool side.
Enjoyed this. And it ended where it would in real life.
very nerve racking and told with alacrity. nice piece david.
ReplyDeleteAnd this is why I'm glad someone thought to invent sleeping pills. :) Great job with the tension and pacing here David!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this little demonstration of an evening of OCDness. And I flip my pillow to the cool side often. Hot pillows = ick.
ReplyDeleteGreat OCD slice-of-life. Everything 'normal' so freakish. Loved 'shaping his body to match hers'. Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff as ever...I'm not OCD but if woken, I do find it difficult to get back to sleep, perfectly captures the emotions of desperately trying to get off again. And the borderline between sleep and waking.
ReplyDeleteVirginia
Intriguing from the get-go. A funny look at OCD and well-written, I thought!
ReplyDeleteVery well written. The OCD was good of course, but I read it at first from the point of view of someone who has trouble sleeping and even the smallest of sounds can become amplified beyond belief!
ReplyDeleteVery nicely done, smooth reading and captures so many important details without too harsh of a magnifying glass.
ReplyDeleteI think the ability to relate to this piece, with or without OCD, is going to be wide-spread.
As someone all too familiar with the dark night of the soul and how the mind obsesses and turns in on itself, I really appreciate this piece. Really well done, and so true.
ReplyDeleteThis felt so real - well written
ReplyDeleteDead-on OCD account. I struggle with it so I felt the realism all too well!
ReplyDeleteI feel for Benji. It would be very hard having OCD, but living with someone with it might be just a little bit harder. A solid piece of flash.
ReplyDeleteI like how she calls herself a freak even while succumbing to her compulsion.
ReplyDeleteAgree with others here, this piece is very solid, and very self-contained. Definitely agree w/Tim's comment too. You did an excellent job of really getting us into her compulsions and her character. I really feel the push-pull of her dilemma, not wanting to wake Benji or let him know that he's woken her, but also not being able to not indulge the obsessive thoughts. Great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat job creating tension in such a short and everyday sort of piece!
ReplyDeleteThis is a good one, David - flows well and it rings true
ReplyDeleteI think to some extent this is me! A really great character study.
ReplyDelete