Friday, 12 March 2010

Bottled Tears (#fridayflash)

Translated from the Elvish original by Professor S.C. Nieklot and Dr R. J. Siwel.

I am surrendering my love for you to the ocean. Through my tears, captured in this bottle, I have purged it from my soul. I hold it in my hands.  It weighs heavy.  My hands and arms ache as my soul ached. 

The bottle, like me, is fragile.  It could be smashed on the rocks at this very shore tomorrow.  Sea water could leak in, taking it to the ocean's depths.  It could wash up on an empty beach to be discovered by a human child.  I know the risks. I know the tears will force their escape somehow. I am tempted to swallow them.  Still, I will be strong.  I will throw the bottle to the sea.

I know not where they will find release, nor whose heart shall be haunted with my sadness.  I know I am not the only one to have done this, to have broken faery law and polluted the sea with my sorrow.  Do you remember how you told me once you heard the anguish of the ocean in the waves crashing on the shore?  Then, I pretended to listen to the waves as you told me to, I pretended to understand.  Now, I hear it too.  The sea only mourns.

I am placing  my tears in the ocean for you to hear. All the energy we created and bound up within ourselves.  Each wave of the ocean will be tinged with this darkness.

The only grief I feel is that this bitter liquid sparkles in the sunlight.  You have torn my spirit into fragments.  Some of them will always be yours.  I am gifting these parts to the sea.

I am letting you go, but you will never, never be free.  I have spoken the spell that ensures this is so.  Should you return, you will be forever bound to the ocean.  You will stand, despairing, on the shore, smelling heartache on the breeze, and listening for redemption songs in the desolate waves.     

Should destiny dictate that this reaches you, you will know who I am.

X.

22 comments:

  1. Wistful, melancholy, bittersweet. The idea of giving one's grief over to the ocean is beautiful; the execution of your idea impeccable. A nice read with my coffee this Friday morning.

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  2. I always enjoy the authenticity of the sentiment in your stories and the poetry in their execution.

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  3. great stuff - the sense of profound sorrow giving way to the bitterness of revenge

    Lovely concept of the tears polluting the ocean

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  4. Beautifully lyrical prose. The sadness and anger is well felt here, coupled with the hopelessness of the bottle never reaching its intended destination makes for a nicely depressing tale.

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  5. This is just absolutely beautiful writing, from the first paragraph to the last.

    There's a harsh penalty to pay forbreaking faery law. Imprisonment by sorrow.

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  6. A very cool concept, and you showed it with a poetic voice. Good story!

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  7. Bitter and poignant. This piece showcases your talent as a writer. The word choice is exceptional. Nice work!

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  8. Beautiful, David, there is much here that resonated very deeply with me. I look forward to reading more of your writing.

    Josie

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  9. I don't know why but I suddenly recalled JM Synge who I haven't read for years. Lovely, lyrical melancholia.

    marc nash

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  10. Lovely stuff David. Like the nice little touch of "translated from the Elvish". Beautiful idea that the sea can be polluted by tears. Does anyone ever catch the polluters I wonder?

    And a neat revenge, trapping the person who loved you, whilst getting rid of your sorrow.

    Very well written as always.

    Virginia

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  11. mmm interesting - great prose. well written

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  12. Absolutely wonderful. And now I know I must speak Elvish, because I am bound to the ocean in all of those ways.

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  13. Catharsis. I feel cleansed. Thank you David - this is pure, poetry.
    Simon.

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  14. I love the translation from Elvish. I'm sure they have legends too.

    This is a beautiful poetic story full of deep emotions, just like the deep ocean. Very interesting details in this fantasy.

    I certainly wouldn't want to cross an elf, they seem very serious and remember everything.

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  15. So poetically lyrical David, which is what I enjoy most about your work. Lovely.

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  16. Compelling writing in this story. There's really a sense of poetry to your words. Well done!

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  17. Simply stated, I love it. Such beautiful and sad sentiments expressed so clearly. Well done.

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  18. Snap indeed! What overcame us this week I wonder? I'm always partial to a bit of Elvish too :)

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  19. Nice curse in there. Maybe that's why the sea calls to so many.

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  20. seamless transition from sorrow to anger. Your use of language is exquisite.

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  21. I'll try to avoid the word "poetic," David, since so many others have used it. Extremely poignant and evocative language, a hint of the reason for the separation. And, again, you've used an interesting technique ("translation from the Elvish") to tell the story.

    A belated thanks for your kind comment a week or so ago. I always look forward to reading your work, and can't wait to see more.

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